No Regrets…ok, 2 regrets

I have exactly TWO regrets in life.

This isn’t because I have led a life full of joy and security, but because I know that every decision, even the ridiculously bad ones, have led me to where and who I am now.

I am happy to take responsibility for those decisions, even the ones that hurt others, because I have honestly and sincerely tried to learn from each and every one of them. This means that events other people may feel regretful about were simply steps along the route to this life I am in now…which I enjoy most days, but that I am fully aware was hard-won and a struggle to get to (TL;DR I appreciate my life, even the days that are occasionally shitty – thanks ‘Other People’).

So, the only two things I wish I had done?

I wish I had been on a protest or march in my youth.  Passionate, vocal, energetic about and committed to something bigger than myself, but which I felt part of.  I wish Younger Me had felt confident enough to stand up and be counted, had been strong enough to risk ridicule, had been engaged enough to know what matters.

The other one?

I wish I had gone back for the photograph of me and Death outside the haunted house in Disneyland.  Boy, oh boy am I still kicking myself about that one.  Me and Death…how cool was that?!

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. Your regrets are kind of awesome.
    I want some cool regrets as well.
    I think that is a great concept to regret not having done something memorable and positive (sometimes) versus the more common regret for having done something you can’t take back.
    At least with the positive kind, you can recall what had been or imagine what could have been and have that experience.
    Thanks for sharing!

  2. errantmoon says:

    One of my most favourite mind tricks is to imagine yourself on your deathbed (in mine I’m actually 96 years old and about careen down a massive hill in a freak wheelchair accident). When your mind is really there ask yourself, would I really regret it if all my plates didn’t match and I didn’t own the latest smartphone every year? Or would I regret not spending more time on the people and experiences I loved? I think the answer is simple, but remembering it every day (BEFORE you’re 96) is hard.

  3. I love that idea!
    I lost any materialism (besides my love of jeans, long sleeves under t’s and converse) I had when I lost everything (my girls and everything I’d ever owned) so I can appreciate realizing the difference in importance. I live just fine without the things but not without them. It is a bittersweet daily reminder to appreciate the moments.

  4. errantmoon says:

    Then how cool is it that what you are doing, right now, is going to get you back to them? So cool.

  5. It is. I’m bettering myself and my life every day I am clean. Even with my relapses I’m making progress with every step forward I take.
    Thank you!

  6. errantmoon says:

    The greatest trick is to not beat yourself up when life forces you to take a step back. There are more than enough people out there willing to do that for you…screw them.

  7. Your support when I relapsed made a huge difference. I had to stay honest but it is hard to admit defeat. Feels good to share it though. Each time I’ve learned more about myself so it is all growth just gotta keep with the positive kind.

  8. errantmoon says:

    You already know how important it is to decide your own thoughts, instead of what we’ve all been conditioned with. Is it ‘Defeat’ or just a set-back?
    You’re pushing that boulder uphill in the right direction, none of that sounds like defeat to me.

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