In a ridiculous turn of events I woke up this morning feeling guilty for not feeling worse.
How screwed up is that?
The sun is shining and my little treasured garden is looking nice. People are listening to the pleas to protect our NHS workers and stay home (as far as I can tell from MY window). Birdsong is louder than traffic noises.
I am writing this to tell myself that it is acceptable, human, desirable and necessary to find the silver linings in as many situations as we can and that I am probably not the only one feeling this.
Finding silver linings does not betray or harm those who are struggling, it makes it more likely that I will have the bandwidth to help them.
Is it possible to have more lining than….outer? If so, that’s what I wish for everyone right now and I’m going to stop feeling bad for looking for it in my own life.
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I keep reminding myself that – as we have no vaccine nor treatment – most of us will get this eventually and most of us will be okay, maybe after a few unpleasant days. “90% of healthy adult cases thus far have been managed at home with basic rest/hydration/over-the-counter meds.” Advice from an anonymous nurse. What we are doing is lining up so that society as a whole can process the disease in an orderly fashion. (Someone correct me if I’m wrong.) Therefore, it’s okay to party while waiting in line. $0.02.
I think that is probably the healthiest reaction and to that end I will be adding pin the tail on the donkey and pass the parcel to my kitchen dance-off…yes, I party like an 8 year old.